Friday, November 26, 2004
New Roommate
Jeffry’s last night on the unit, I couldn’t sleep. Not because of him, or anything. They’d served us each a paper plateful of baked beans for dinner. Beans that Carol’s decrepit intestines weren’t too friendly with. Her ass gas was so thick and onioney, that night, not even burrowing my face deep into the thin, white sheet could mask it. Nancy was so doped up, she slept through it, as usual.
So, I sat in the dayroom. Alone. Arms folded over my gown. I hung my head and stared at my arms. The bright tattoos of flowers and bugs and stars, and the pink stripes of scars running highways between them reminded me of how just a week ago I had the freedom and right to plunge needles and knives into my own skin. And why shouldn’t I, damn it? I grew this skin. I fed my mouth and slept and drank water so I would grow and live. I worked so hard to be alive for what? To be a checkmark on some psych nurse’s clipboard?
“Pssst!” I heard from a doorway across from me. I looked up. It was Jeffry. He was wearing a coat. They’d given it back to him since he’s leaving tomorrow.
“Psst! Com’ere!” Jeffry said and unbuttoned his coat to reveal a smooth, brown chest with thick pectoral mounds and a rippled stomach. He nodded slowly and raised his eyebrows up and down as he circled his nipples with one finger.
I shook my head quickly no. Jeffry’s discharge order was written already. It would take a court trial to commit him and make him stay longer. So he could do what the fuck he pleased.
As for me, I knew that each transgression, my every insubordinate move equaled more time in these jaundice colored walls. I had stopped hallucinating. I had no urge to fuck this man across the dayroom, offering himself to me. Yeah, he’s sort of old and bald, and the smell of fart and institution laundry isn’t exactly arousing. But he’s got a nice body and a working cock. Which is usually enough for me. Maybe the medicines have kicked in. Fuck! I bet that’s it.
“Hey! Psst! Hey!” Jeffry reached down for the elastic waist of his paper pajamas and pulled the front low to expose his thick, dark cock. Nope. I’m still not horny. There’s definitely something wrong here. I’m a little scared. What if when I go home to my master and he binds me in ropes and chains, then pushes me onto my knees and spreads my asscheeks and tries to slide his luscious tool in me and finds I'm dry as a kitten’s tongue. Would he be hurt? Think I no longer love him and want to deprive him?
Bandana is on duty tonight. The very unfriendly night nurse who always wears a bandana over her braids. I see her behind the counter, now, staring down hard at a magazine, gulping from a large, glass bottle of something clear, Vodka or liquid Haldol, maybe and eating mealy bananas. Fuck you, bitch. Those were probably our breakfast.
Bandana doesn’t see Jeffry. I almost wish she would so he’d stop. Each time he grinds that fist up and down his cock, I’m reminded of my new impotence. Bandana doesn’t see me either, though. If she did, she’d give me a shot.
Elena stomps into the dayroom with her blanket thrown across her shoulders like a cape. She winks one almond eye at me and sinks into a chair in front of Jeffry’s door. I don’t think she saw him.
“I am sooooo sleepy!” she swoons and drapes the blanket over her lap. She begins to snore exaggerately.
“Oh Queen Elena,” Bandana croaks, “You best be takin’ yo Chinese ass to bed.”
Elena “snores” more. In a wispy, sleeptalk tone says, “but I’m Thaiiiii.”
“Yo Thai ass gettin’ a shot.” Bandana puts down the banana she’d been chewing. Jeffry sees Bandana get up, blows me a kiss, and slips back into the dark of the room he shares with Fergus. I sort of wonder what Jesus freak Fergus would have done if he’d have woke to me and Jeffry bouncing up and down in the bed beside him.
“Ooh! That tickles! Mmm…I love needles!” Elena giggled as Nurse Bandana jabbed the shot of Thorazine into her bicep. “I’m already starting to feel all zonkty!”
Elena skipped off to her and Mona’s room and I was alone again.
“Hey, you. Little white girl.” Bandana noticed me.
I blinked and with a big scoop of my neck looked around the dayroom, as if it was a pep rally back at my high school in the suburbs, crowded with little white girls, cheering and shaking their pom-poms in between twirls of their long, blonde hair.
“Uh. Me?”
“You wanna shot, too?” Bandana threatened.
“Have you smelled it in there.” I said and pointed behind me at the room where Carol and Nancy slept.
Bandana bit her lip as not to smile. “Yeah, it do stink pretty bad.”
“I’ll go right to sleep if I can have a different room.”
“Your on frequent ob. I'm sposta watch you. Doctor said he’d take you off it, though. There’s room with the new girl. Go sleep in there.” She pointed to Leesha’s door.
¶ 1:54 PM
So, I sat in the dayroom. Alone. Arms folded over my gown. I hung my head and stared at my arms. The bright tattoos of flowers and bugs and stars, and the pink stripes of scars running highways between them reminded me of how just a week ago I had the freedom and right to plunge needles and knives into my own skin. And why shouldn’t I, damn it? I grew this skin. I fed my mouth and slept and drank water so I would grow and live. I worked so hard to be alive for what? To be a checkmark on some psych nurse’s clipboard?
“Pssst!” I heard from a doorway across from me. I looked up. It was Jeffry. He was wearing a coat. They’d given it back to him since he’s leaving tomorrow.
“Psst! Com’ere!” Jeffry said and unbuttoned his coat to reveal a smooth, brown chest with thick pectoral mounds and a rippled stomach. He nodded slowly and raised his eyebrows up and down as he circled his nipples with one finger.
I shook my head quickly no. Jeffry’s discharge order was written already. It would take a court trial to commit him and make him stay longer. So he could do what the fuck he pleased.
As for me, I knew that each transgression, my every insubordinate move equaled more time in these jaundice colored walls. I had stopped hallucinating. I had no urge to fuck this man across the dayroom, offering himself to me. Yeah, he’s sort of old and bald, and the smell of fart and institution laundry isn’t exactly arousing. But he’s got a nice body and a working cock. Which is usually enough for me. Maybe the medicines have kicked in. Fuck! I bet that’s it.
“Hey! Psst! Hey!” Jeffry reached down for the elastic waist of his paper pajamas and pulled the front low to expose his thick, dark cock. Nope. I’m still not horny. There’s definitely something wrong here. I’m a little scared. What if when I go home to my master and he binds me in ropes and chains, then pushes me onto my knees and spreads my asscheeks and tries to slide his luscious tool in me and finds I'm dry as a kitten’s tongue. Would he be hurt? Think I no longer love him and want to deprive him?
Bandana is on duty tonight. The very unfriendly night nurse who always wears a bandana over her braids. I see her behind the counter, now, staring down hard at a magazine, gulping from a large, glass bottle of something clear, Vodka or liquid Haldol, maybe and eating mealy bananas. Fuck you, bitch. Those were probably our breakfast.
Bandana doesn’t see Jeffry. I almost wish she would so he’d stop. Each time he grinds that fist up and down his cock, I’m reminded of my new impotence. Bandana doesn’t see me either, though. If she did, she’d give me a shot.
Elena stomps into the dayroom with her blanket thrown across her shoulders like a cape. She winks one almond eye at me and sinks into a chair in front of Jeffry’s door. I don’t think she saw him.
“I am sooooo sleepy!” she swoons and drapes the blanket over her lap. She begins to snore exaggerately.
“Oh Queen Elena,” Bandana croaks, “You best be takin’ yo Chinese ass to bed.”
Elena “snores” more. In a wispy, sleeptalk tone says, “but I’m Thaiiiii.”
“Yo Thai ass gettin’ a shot.” Bandana puts down the banana she’d been chewing. Jeffry sees Bandana get up, blows me a kiss, and slips back into the dark of the room he shares with Fergus. I sort of wonder what Jesus freak Fergus would have done if he’d have woke to me and Jeffry bouncing up and down in the bed beside him.
“Ooh! That tickles! Mmm…I love needles!” Elena giggled as Nurse Bandana jabbed the shot of Thorazine into her bicep. “I’m already starting to feel all zonkty!”
Elena skipped off to her and Mona’s room and I was alone again.
“Hey, you. Little white girl.” Bandana noticed me.
I blinked and with a big scoop of my neck looked around the dayroom, as if it was a pep rally back at my high school in the suburbs, crowded with little white girls, cheering and shaking their pom-poms in between twirls of their long, blonde hair.
“Uh. Me?”
“You wanna shot, too?” Bandana threatened.
“Have you smelled it in there.” I said and pointed behind me at the room where Carol and Nancy slept.
Bandana bit her lip as not to smile. “Yeah, it do stink pretty bad.”
“I’ll go right to sleep if I can have a different room.”
“Your on frequent ob. I'm sposta watch you. Doctor said he’d take you off it, though. There’s room with the new girl. Go sleep in there.” She pointed to Leesha’s door.
¶ 1:54 PM
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Essential oils, roots and herbs can be used in a variety of ways to promote healthy living and stress medication. They are used to create natural remedies for treating ailments common to both people and animals, to add flavor to food, to make perfumes and to create environmentally friendly cleaning products.
You do not have to own a garden to tap into the benefits of plants, roots and herbs. A few herb pots located by a sunny window are enough to get you started. Then, all you need are some essential oils and you are ready to go.
For therapeutic purposes, only the purest oils will do. It is possible to be fooled into thinking that you are purchasing a pure oil. Often, a lesser quality blend of several oils is used to mimic the properties of the pure oil. Blended oils are acceptable for fragrance purposes such as for perfuming a room, but pure oils are a "must" for medicinal purposes.
A reasonable guide to the purity of an essential oil is its price. Pure essential oils are generally more expensive. Common oils such as lavender and geranium are much cheaper than frankincense and carnation oil. It is advisable to become familiar with essential oil prices and then rely on this knowledge when purchasing oils from unfamiliar sources. Keep in-mind that you will generally get what you pay for. A price list from a reputable dealer is a valuable resource when purchasing essentials oils.
Usually, pure essential oils cannot be applied directly to the skin and must be mixed in a base oil to reduce their strength. Base oils such as almond oil or wheatgerm oil are commonly used for this purpose. Base oils are generally derived from seeds, nuts or vegetables and allow you to create essential oil remedies that can be massaged into the skin.
So, what do you need to get started with essential oils and natural remedies?
Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.
The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).
Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.
Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.
For fragrant perfumes and establishing ambience in a room, buy some Patchouli and Ylang-ylang oils. Often combined in scented candles and air fresheners, a few drops of each in an oil burner creates a wonderfully perfumed home. Orange oil mixed with Cinnamon oil is a lovely winter alternative that evokes seasonal, holiday smells. Besides their perfume qualities, all four of these oils have other properties. Patchouli treats eczema and dandruff. Ylang-ylang is reputed to relieve stress, palpitations and high blood pressure. Orange is used in natural remedies for depression and nervous tension and Cinnamon is excellent for warts and viral infections.
The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.
Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.
Citronella oil is perfect in summer to keep the insects at bay. Another natural repellent is Garlic. Fleas will not bite a dog that has been eating garlic, so a few garlic capsules in the dog food are a cheap solution to your pet's flea problem. A soft collar soaked in Citronella will also do the job.
Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.
Whether you are looking for remedies or nature friendly products to use around the house, the oils and herbs suggested above should help get you started. You will be ready to make some healthy changes in your way of life!
stress medication
You do not have to own a garden to tap into the benefits of plants, roots and herbs. A few herb pots located by a sunny window are enough to get you started. Then, all you need are some essential oils and you are ready to go.
For therapeutic purposes, only the purest oils will do. It is possible to be fooled into thinking that you are purchasing a pure oil. Often, a lesser quality blend of several oils is used to mimic the properties of the pure oil. Blended oils are acceptable for fragrance purposes such as for perfuming a room, but pure oils are a "must" for medicinal purposes.
A reasonable guide to the purity of an essential oil is its price. Pure essential oils are generally more expensive. Common oils such as lavender and geranium are much cheaper than frankincense and carnation oil. It is advisable to become familiar with essential oil prices and then rely on this knowledge when purchasing oils from unfamiliar sources. Keep in-mind that you will generally get what you pay for. A price list from a reputable dealer is a valuable resource when purchasing essentials oils.
Usually, pure essential oils cannot be applied directly to the skin and must be mixed in a base oil to reduce their strength. Base oils such as almond oil or wheatgerm oil are commonly used for this purpose. Base oils are generally derived from seeds, nuts or vegetables and allow you to create essential oil remedies that can be massaged into the skin.
So, what do you need to get started with essential oils and natural remedies?
Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.
The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).
Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.
Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.
For fragrant perfumes and establishing ambience in a room, buy some Patchouli and Ylang-ylang oils. Often combined in scented candles and air fresheners, a few drops of each in an oil burner creates a wonderfully perfumed home. Orange oil mixed with Cinnamon oil is a lovely winter alternative that evokes seasonal, holiday smells. Besides their perfume qualities, all four of these oils have other properties. Patchouli treats eczema and dandruff. Ylang-ylang is reputed to relieve stress, palpitations and high blood pressure. Orange is used in natural remedies for depression and nervous tension and Cinnamon is excellent for warts and viral infections.
The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.
Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.
Citronella oil is perfect in summer to keep the insects at bay. Another natural repellent is Garlic. Fleas will not bite a dog that has been eating garlic, so a few garlic capsules in the dog food are a cheap solution to your pet's flea problem. A soft collar soaked in Citronella will also do the job.
Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.
Whether you are looking for remedies or nature friendly products to use around the house, the oils and herbs suggested above should help get you started. You will be ready to make some healthy changes in your way of life!
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