Happy Hour
Saturday, November 13, 2004
  Phone Call Note From Dr. Yarozik

After reading the progress of this work, Happy Hour, I must warn to please use extreme discretion when crediting Hela with the truth. She has a, let’s say, mutable boundary with reality and is prone to gross exaggeration.

Consider her diagnosis:
Axis I: Bi-polar disorder, borderline personality disorder.
Axis II: Anxiety disorder. Marijuana dependence. Sex addiction.
Axis III: Chlamydia. Heart murmurs.
Axis IV: New living arrangement, loss of job, untimely death of mother, recent sexual assaults, possible homelessness.

Besides, she can't even spell my name right.


Phone Call

After Hela and Dr. Littleboy’s scrabble game, he fed her a fat Valium and sat her down in front of the phone in the hallway between the dayroom and solarium. Hela pressed the numbers she knew so well. The doctor left.

“Hell-o.” a man’s voice answered. Deep, with the bounce of a boy's.

“Hi.” Hela said.

“Hey there, what’s up my little Hel-fire? Where you been?” She heard his lighter flick. Saw him leaned back in the office chair at his desk, taking breath after breath of his hand-rolled cigarette, staring up at the Sears Tower, poking the clouds with it's twin horns of blinking purple. An airplane flies toward the steel devil head and Hela's master, for a moment muses at the prospect of that plane swooping low and crashing, flames and shattered glass, a tumbling of floors like a stack of cards, small bodies plunging…

"I have a request." Hela started with a spaced-out gravity, with a detached bemusement, a funeral tone that snapped her master from his carnage reverie.

"Wear nothing but leather pants and a mask. Fill up your gun. On the cross streets of Montrose and Oak Park, there is a state mental hospital. I am there. Way in the back. In a ward called D-North. Shoot through the locks. Shoot every guard on duty you see. Then chain me up. Carry me out of here. The airport is nearby. We can flee."

"Mmm…to where?" he purred. He thought she was kidding. "Assuming I own a pair of leather pants."

"No, really. They locked me up again."


8/3
Dinner

Before dinner, I finally called Master. He didn't believe this whole thing was true, at first. He won't bust me out of here like I asked, but volunteered to come visit on Friday and bring me a funny book. He asked how it smells here. I told him, like farts.

"I'm homeless in the bosom of my soul. I'm homeless, starving to death." Carol just went off on another sermon. Is standing in front of her fold-out chair at one of these plywood tables, with a far-off, righteous look in her glassed-out eyes, placing one hand above where her heart should be. "I am strong. I'm a OX! I'm a BULL! I'm a, I'm a…DOG!" We all laughed.

"Woof woof!" Markus taunted. We laughed again.

"Miss Carol, siddown!" Nurse I'm-a-turtle Jean just said to her.

Jean is slow at passing out the dinner trays, tonight. I haven't received mine yet. The turtle is probably waiting to give me mine last, since I'm her oh-so-favorite patient here.

Mona and Elena have gotten theirs and from what I can see, this is what's on the menu:
-6 saltine crackers, wheat flavored
-2 slices of American cheese
-Applesauce
-3 2-inch mini dill pickles (which I will try to trade for more applesauce)
-Milk (yuck!)


"Oh goody! Applesauce!" Elena cheered, genuine. I am sitting with her and Mona.

"Oh yay. A full 6 crackers. Won't I be stuffed." Mona said deadpan, lips still, jowls flapping. Big, round glasses bouncing on her cheeks, making Mona into an angry, gray-haired frog in a gown.

Good. Nurse Turtle finally placed my tray in front of me.

"Thanks." I murmered, not looking up then called out, "Is anyone hungry for pickles?"

"Yeah, giv'em to me." this new girl waved from across the dining area. Looking about here, I always flash back to my grade-school cafeteria. Sticky round tables, the sweet reek of packet ketchup and curdled carton milk laid to crust on a seldom mopped tile floor.

I studied the new girl. She is shorter than I am, under 5 feet, but chiseled compact. If Dionysus has designed me thick and soft to consume great quantities of whisky, tough and flexible to sustain bondage sessions in which I am chained precariously with a nullified range of motion, limbs stretched in angles of 90 degrees or wider, joints taut and aching to full extent, this girl was designed by Artemis. The huntress. She was designed to stalk and chase. Bounding on her tight, round chocolate calves. Pouncing, then shredding the muscles of prey with her pointy nails, tinting pink with blood.

The new girl's narrow hips swiveled and cut sharp corners as she twisted around the tables to get to my pickles. She pinched them up with her claws. She left a cup of applesauce on my tray in exchange. How perfect!

"Thanks, Thickums." she smiled. She had the whitest teeth. Small and sharp. Like she is. Bet they'd leave the prettiest purple moons on my neck. The whitest eye. The left eye. The right eye is brown, but the left has a colorless cornea. Wow!

"What did you call me?" I asked. Friendly, not offended. What she said could have been a compliment, for all I know.

"I called you Thickums. You thick, you luscious." she winked her brown eye. My thighs got moist.

"Is that a good thing?"

"Mmmhmmm…" she nodded slowly, inviting.

"Leesha, siddown!" Nurse turtle-ass Jean yelled. The new girl sauntered back to her seat, her tight butt tick-tocking beneath her paper pajamas. I can't see her from here, anymore. Some dude's head is in my way.





 
Comments:
Rhodiola Rosea is the latest natural remedy to join the arsenal of natural anxiety and stress (post traumatic stress) reducers.

Rhodiola Rosea, also known as Golden Root, is a native plant of arctic Siberia. For centuries it has been used by eastern European and Asian cultures for physical endurance, work productivity, longevity, resistance to high altitude sickness, and to treat fatigue, depression, anemia, impotence, gastrointestinal ailments, infections, and nervous system disorders.

The first recorded medicinal applications of rodia riza (renamed Rhodiola Rosea) was made by the Greek physician, Dioscorides, in 77 C.E. in 'De Materia Medica'. Rhodiola Rosea has been included in official Russian medicine since 1969.

Despite its long history, the Western world has only recently become aware of the health benefits of Rhodiola Rosea. It has come to the attention of many natural health practitioners because of studies which tested its affects on combating anxiety and stress.

Rhodiola Rosea is considered an adaptogen. This means it has an overall stabilizing effect on the body without disrupting other functions. Its ability to normalize hormones may be effective for treating depression and anxiety.

Studies of Rhodiola Rosea show that it stimulates neurotransmitters and enhances their effects on the brain. This includes the ability for the brain to process serotonin which helps the body to adapt to stress.

Since adaptogens improve the body's overall ability to handle stress, it has been studied to identify it's effects on biological, chemical and physical stress.

A study was performed to test the effects of Rhodiola Rosea when stress or post traumatic stress is caused by intense mental work (such as final exams). Such tests concluded that using Rhodiola Rosea improved the amount and quality of work, increasing mental clarity and reducing the effects of fatigue.

The effects of Rhodiola Rosea have also been tested on stress and anxiety from both physical and emotional sources. A report by the American Botanical Council states that "Most users find that it improves their mood, energy level, and mental clarity." They also report on a study that indicated Rhodiola Rosea could increase stress tolerance while at the same time protecting the brain and heart from the physical affects of stress.

This report included details of studies which highlight the overall health benefits of Rhodiola Rosea.

The generally recommended dose is 200-600mg/day. The active properties should be a minimum 0.8 percent salidroside and 3 percent rosavin.

It is important for consumers to know that Rhodiola may be sold using other species that do not share the properties of Rhodiola Rosea, post traumatic stress, or at ineffective strengths for treatment. Anyone with depression or anxiety should also check with a health professional when treating these symptoms.

post traumatic stress
 
Essential oils, roots and herbs can be used in a variety of ways to promote healthy living and stress management article. They are used to create natural remedies for treating ailments common to both people and animals, to add flavor to food, to make perfumes and to create environmentally friendly cleaning products.

You do not have to own a garden to tap into the benefits of plants, roots and herbs. A few herb pots located by a sunny window are enough to get you started. Then, all you need are some essential oils and you are ready to go.

For therapeutic purposes, only the purest oils will do. It is possible to be fooled into thinking that you are purchasing a pure oil. Often, a lesser quality blend of several oils is used to mimic the properties of the pure oil. Blended oils are acceptable for fragrance purposes such as for perfuming a room, but pure oils are a "must" for medicinal purposes.

A reasonable guide to the purity of an essential oil is its price. Pure essential oils are generally more expensive. Common oils such as lavender and geranium are much cheaper than frankincense and carnation oil. It is advisable to become familiar with essential oil prices and then rely on this knowledge when purchasing oils from unfamiliar sources. Keep in-mind that you will generally get what you pay for. A price list from a reputable dealer is a valuable resource when purchasing essentials oils.

Usually, pure essential oils cannot be applied directly to the skin and must be mixed in a base oil to reduce their strength. Base oils such as almond oil or wheatgerm oil are commonly used for this purpose. Base oils are generally derived from seeds, nuts or vegetables and allow you to create essential oil remedies that can be massaged into the skin.

So, what do you need to get started with essential oils and natural remedies?

Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.

The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).

Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.

Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.

For fragrant perfumes and establishing ambience in a room, buy some Patchouli and Ylang-ylang oils. Often combined in scented candles and air fresheners, a few drops of each in an oil burner creates a wonderfully perfumed home. Orange oil mixed with Cinnamon oil is a lovely winter alternative that evokes seasonal, holiday smells. Besides their perfume qualities, all four of these oils have other properties. Patchouli treats eczema and dandruff. Ylang-ylang is reputed to relieve stress, palpitations and high blood pressure. Orange is used in natural remedies for depression and nervous tension and Cinnamon is excellent for warts and viral infections.

The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.

Citronella oil is perfect in summer to keep the insects at bay. Another natural repellent is Garlic. Fleas will not bite a dog that has been eating garlic, so a few garlic capsules in the dog food are a cheap solution to your pet's flea problem. A soft collar soaked in Citronella will also do the job.

Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.

Whether you are looking for remedies or nature friendly products to use around the house, the oils and herbs suggested above should help get you started. You will be ready to make some healthy changes in your way of life!

stress management article
 
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